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  • Winter

    'Our First Winter'

    DEC. 20TH
    It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen for years. The wife & I took our hot toddies and sat on the porch watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It's so beautiful & peaceful.

    DEC. 24th
    Woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering as far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight everything covered with a beautiful white mantel. I shovelled snow for the first time ever and loved it! I did both our driveway & the pavement.
    Later that day a snowplough came along & accidently covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled & waved. I waved back & shovelled it away again. The children next door built a snowman with coal for eyes & a carrot for a nose and had a snowball fight - a couple just missed me & hit the car so I threw a couple back & joined in the fun.

    DEC. 26th
    It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temp. dropped to around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees & bushes snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our drive again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by & did his trick again! Much of the snow is now brownish/grey.

    JAN. 1st
    Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which soon became ice when the temp. dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars. Fell on my **** in the driveway. Went to physio but nothing was broken.

    JAN. 5th
    Still cold. Sold the wife's car & bought her a 4X4 to get her to work. She slid into a wall & did considerable damage to right wing. Had another 8 inches of white ****e last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt & iced up slush. That ******** snowplough came by twice today. Where's that bloody shovel?

    More f***ing snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles & a paraffin heater that tipped over & nearly torched the house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands. Lost my eyebows & eyelashes. Car hit a f***ing deer on the way to casualty & was written off!

    JAN. 13th
    F***ing ******** white ****e just keeps on coming down. Have to put on every article of clothing just to go to the post box. The little ****s next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back. I'll shove that carrot so far up the little ****** arses; it'll take a good surgeon hours to find it. If I ever catch that ******** that drives that snowplough I'll chew open his chest & rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the ******** hides round the corner & waits for me to finish shovelling & then he accelerates down the street like Michael f***ing Schumacher & buries the f***ing drive again.

    JAN. 17th
    16 more sodding inches of f***ing snow & f***ing ice & f***ing sleet & God knows what other white ****e fell last night. I am in court in 3 months time for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice pick. Can't move my f***ing toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 20 & more ******** snow is forecast.


  • #2


    • #3
      oh very good