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Scottish Telly

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  • Scottish Telly

    To rival the new STV "Scottish" schedule, now missing The Bill and other
    old ITV favourites, Sky are rumoured to be close to launching their own
    dedicated Scottish Channel later this month, and have previewed what
    they are intending to broadcast

    Here's a selection of the listed programmes:

    Sky Wan

    9am News and whair it's pishin doon

    9.30am How clairty is yer hoose?

    This week the ladies pay a visit to a man whose wife shot the craw only
    three days ago to find the entire hoose under five inches of stoor and
    the cludgy honkin o' pish

    10am The Mags Hainey Show

    Early mornin chat show hosted by big Mags Hainey in which neds and
    sengas settle their petty differences by screaming obscenities and
    attacking each other with furniture for the amusement of the viewing
    public. This morning's episode is entitled "Whair's ma effin hoosekeepin
    money disappeared tae?"

    12.30pm News and whair it's pishin doon

    1pm Neeburs

    Soap opera set in the village of Kinghorn in Fife. This week Archie
    accuses Morag of being in league with Lucifer and has her burned at the
    stake while Wullie gets chibbed on his way hoam frae the boozer

    2pm Film

    Angels wi Manky Coupons

    4pm Tam the Tank Engine

    Tam goes aff the rails and the Fat Controller is chuffed tae bits

    4.15pm Boab the Builder

    Reality show where Boab is investigated by the Inland Revenue for doin'
    the double

    6pm News and whair it's pishin doon

    7pm Doaktir Whae

    In this week's episode the Scottish time traveller takes the TARDIS back
    tae 1966 and breks Geoff Hurst's legs wae a sonic Glesca screwdriver

    7.30pm Torn Faced ****ney ******s

    Eastenders wi' subtitles. In tonight's episode, Pauline gets her jotters
    fae the steamie while the rest o' the cast stoat aboot wi' faces the
    length o' Leith Walk coz their broo was late and they cannae affort tie
    get tanked up the nite.

    9pm Fitba Player's Burds

    Drama surrounding the players of fourth division Auchtermuchty Rovers
    and their off-pitch antics. This week Boaby is worried that the club is
    facing relegation while Moira is gettin it deep from the Aberfeldy
    Academicals goalie

    10pm News and whair it's pishin doon

    12.30am Merrit Wi Weans

    Re-make of the popular American sit-com 'Married With Children.' In this
    week's episode, Al sits in front o' the telly scratchin his baws while
    Peg is still chokin on her Nat King Cole

    1.30am The Beechgrove Back-Green

    The boys plans tae dae up a gairdin in Niddrie are scuppered when local
    neds eff off wi the wheelbarra

    2.15am Close Doon

  • #2
    Very gid!


    • #3
      pmsl I am off to Scotland for a weeks break in December so this thread will come in handy


      • #4
        Aye especially this..

        News and whair it's pishin doon