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Aircraft Maintenance Logs

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  • Aircraft Maintenance Logs

    These are actual entries taken from various aircraft maintenance handover logs, mainly from UK and US airlines. Proves that aircraft engineers do have a sense of humour.

    Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
    Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

    Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
    Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

    Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
    Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

    Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
    Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

    Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
    Solution: "Evidence removed."

    Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
    Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

    Problem: "Dead insects on windscreen."
    Solution: "Live insects on order."

    Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
    Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

    Problem: "IFF inoperative."
    Solution: "IFF always inoperative in OFF mode."

    Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
    Solution: "That's what they're there for."

    Problem: "Number three engine missing."
    Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

    Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
    Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

    Problem: "Suspected crack in windshield."
    Solution: "Suspect you're right."

    Problem: "Aircraft handles funny." (I love this one!)
    Solution: "Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious."

    Problem: "Radar hums."
    Solution: "Reprogrammed radar with lyrics."

    Problem: "Mouse in cockpit."
    Solution: "Cat installed."

    And the best one for last..................

    Problem: "Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer."
    Solution: "Took hammer away from midget"

  • #2
    Very good

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    • #3
      thats Sean's checks me thinks
      sigpic

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      • #4
        Nahh! Sean just turns up, kicks the tyres and checks the petrol gauge, then he's off, 50,000 rivets flying in close formation

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        • #5
          PMSL, i'll have you know i do a James May pre flight check.......Not
          the term we use is FUFU...... Fire up & F*** off then search for bandits at 1 oclock
          sigpic Cheshire & North Wales Region. Home of A&M Conversions

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          • #6

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